Happy Mind: The Philosophy and Science of Happiness

Not everyone realises that funerals need not involve dark clothes, a hearse and a wooden coffin or an urn. There are other options, and it's appropriate that Brighton, with its reputation as a town of free-thinkers, should be home to ARKA Original Funerals, which offers creative funeral services, advice and information about alternative sites for burial.

"People are very relieved when they find out they can do things the way they want," tells me funeral director Cara Mair, co-funder of ARKA. "We fit with them, rather than make them fit with us." 

Cara became interested in what funeral directors did behind closed doors after her mother's death in 1988. She started off working as an embalmer in a traditional setting, but felt a need to offer something different, which lead to ARKA Original Funerals, now in its forth year. Hazel Selene, who funded ARKA with Cara, is the designer and manufacturer of the ARKA Ecopod, a coffin made from recycled papier-mâché, which can be used in burials or cremations.

"We had to face the suspicion of those working in the traditional world of funerals," explains Belinda Chapman, who creates and conducts the ceremonies for ARKA. "People were worried we might be anti-religion and hippy-dippy, as opposed to just hippy, but we pride ourselves on our professionalism, and we feel that actually this is the true way that's been taken over by people in black suits."

ARKA does not use embalming fluids, as these contaminate the groundwater with mercury, arsenic and formaldehyde, and, even though they offer funerals for either burial and cremation, they point out to their clients that 16% of all carcinogenic pollutants in the atmosphere come from crematoria (Ref. Defra 1999). Instead of embalming fluids, Cara tells me that they use essential oils on the bodies, and that they choose oils that were significant for the deceased.

"We try to be as eco and natural as it's possible in today's society," tells me Cara.

They started off with just one site, in Surrey Street, but they now have a second site with full modern facilities, including a cool room and a chapel, where people can have candle-lit vigils.

Cara and Belinda tell me that Brighton has been very welcoming of ARKA.

"It's noticeable when we go somewhere else," says Cara. "The fact that we turn up wearing casual clothes can be enough to give them epilectic fits!"

ARKA has helped to organise a variety of funerals. Some processions involved a pony cart, a horse and carriage, or a traditional limousine – and in others the coffin was placed in a camper van, or in a big old Glory motorbike. The ceremony may take place in a marquee, with people sitting comfortably, not standing, or in the ARKA chapel, illuminated by candle light – but, again, the choice of setting rests, as much as possible, with the family and friends of the deceased.

"People imagine that there are lots of rules around funerals, but apart from the official paperwork, there isn't much that needs to be done," says Belinda. "We have also supported people to have burials in their private land and that's been amazing."

Friends and family are all encouraged to participate in the ceremony, for example by carrying the Ecopod – which can be carried by hand – or by playing music, or lining the coffin with wild flowers and hay.

"It's a time of story telling, the first time the entire story of a person's life can be told, because it now has an ending," says Belinda. "We encourage people to research family history, get out family snaps and write down their memories. It can be a healing process."

Children are encouraged to participate as well.

"We believe that having children there can be beneficial for everyone," says Belinda. "Children are used to crying and can show adults how to grieve. We even had a funeral in which children helped to fill the grave, something which the adults – including ourselves – were hesitant about at first, but it became natural."

Cara and Belinda say there are times when their work can be overwhelming, and that it's important for them to find ways to offload, but that they have immense job  satisfaction.

"Sometimes we go 'Why are we so tired?'," says Belinda. "And we forget we just had to keep a family together. Some families are fractured and dysfunctional, and we have to listen to every side of the story."

"It's sad because we are dealing with death," says Cara. "But we can help people to make a tiny step forward. It's a job well worth doing and I definitively don't regret it. [Working as a funeral director] makes me realise how precious life is, it makes you see the bigger picture."

She finds it a privilege to be around the dead.

"I've seen how others can be with dead bodies," she says. "I treat every one with respect, how I would have wanted my mum and dad to be treated."

Cara says she is not scared of death, but that she would not want her body to be given to strangers, who might not treat it with care. She used to wish to be cremated – it seemed cleaner – but now she would prefer a burial.

Belinda says she would want to be buried in a foetal position, in a round casket. She wouldn't want a formal ceremony, but for her friends and family to gather at the beach at sun rise.

"After seeing people go through the dying process and seeing the bodies on a regular basis, I'm convinced there is an after-life," says Belinda. "[The dead] leave behind the vessel that carried their soul. It's been a revelation. I thought it would be the opposite. I wasn't sure before. I'm not afraid of dying – as long as it doesn't happen tomorrow!"